PM - Behind the Scenes!!

Hi!!
I am a Project Manager...

When you normally tell someone that you are a project manager, they picture you as a person:

• Roaming aimlessly in the office (with a devilish smile)
• Giving commands (or lectures in case you've done something wrong)
• Sitting all day long in his cabin doing nothing (coming out only to check if everyone's at his workstation)
• Circling around you all day long if a deadline is nearby (shouting over your head that you should have hurried with the things)
• Finding faults with whatever work you have done (& you were thinking he'd be thanking you for your hardwork)

etc. etc.
In Short, if you have a forceful Boss, you are for sure to have a bossy Project Manager.

Now, this doesn't mean that i am a bossy one...nooo, my team is really fond of me =]
But we are talking about general perception here...right??

So, as i was telling that the overall image...general image...of a project manager is not very good. People think that it's an easy way of earning money, without doing anything.
Now that's wrong!!

You see, even when i am sitting idle, there are a whole lot of hurricanes twirling & swirling through my brain. I am constantly thinking about ways to meet deadlines, fully utilize the allocated resources, solve issues between teammates, brief the newly demanded feature from client side (in a manner that won't make my team's head go CUCKOO!! CUCKOO!!) & other issues that my team has not even the slightest idea of.

If you think developers & programmers spent sleepless nights meeting deadlines, we project managers spent sleepless weeks arranging & scheduling the time preceeding those deadlines...i can't recall when was the last time i slept peacefully...maybe a month back...oh no, that was when i had my vasovagal episode (fainting) (yeah, that can happen when you are in a condition as i was).

You people think that PM stands for Project Manager only...wrong again
The P is for:

• People you have to look after (clients, boss, team)
• Pressure you have to bear
• Problems you have to deal with
• Projects you have to manage

The M is for

• Money matters you have to handle (even if it means a simple lunch arrangement for the team)
• Machines you needs to look after
• Motivation you have to provide to your team
• Messages you have to convey from boss to team, clients to team, team to boss, team to client, boss to client, client to boss (woahhh!! i lost track of my words...)

So you see, this is not an easy task. Yet " I ", the project manager:

• Greet everyone with a fresh face
• Walk around the office with full energy
• Solve problems with an innovative mind
• Guide you with a smiling face

& still they say i have no work to do...*sigh*!!

When someone asks me what i develop...

I hate going to social gatherings.
Meeting new people is on the top of "Things i Hate doing the MOST!!"...especially if it includes old people.

You must be wondering i am a loner or some kind of a freak who doesn't like having friends around him. Some of you might think i have attitude problems. Some of you must be picturing me as a short snobby millionaire; grey hair standing on the edges on my ear; spectacles sitting on the far edge on my nose; a derby hat on my head (tilted to one side); one hand tucked inside my pocket; a cane in the other hand; a fierce frown on my face; sitting on piles of money (like Scrooge Mc'Duck).

In reality, i am not at all like that...i'm just a DEVELOPER...a plain ol' developer!!
Really?? A developer hating anything besides coding and computer screen...you're a weird man!!

Actually, you're not getting the point here...
You see, when i go to gatherings or when i meet new people, i always end up being interviewed by the humans walking around me (well yeah, i don't think we developers are considered humans any more). Along with all other sorts of questions, 1 very basic question that everyone NEVER seems to forget asking is:
What do you Do?
Me: I'm a developer
What do you develop?
& i go *blank*

I mean what sort of question is this? I said am a developer...right?? Don't you know what do developers do?? They develop...I am a developer...so i develop...What's so hard to understand??

I tried answering it once to daddy's old friend
Me: I develop softwares (followed by a fake smile)
What's a software??
...
& i felt like hitting him so hard on the head that he forgets his monocle is to be placed over his eye and his pipe in his mouth...(Grrrrrr!!)
i tried to remember the definition of a software from my school times but in vain (yeahhh you got it right...i wasn't the high achiever of the batch).

Me: It's what makes a computer run...(no wait, that's the operating system)
It's what we run on computers...u know the applications & stuff
Applications?? We used to write applications on papers back in our days & there were no developers writing them for us, how things have changed now... (& here goes another long story of how things were back in their times)
Aaarrrgghhh!! Give me a break old man!!

So, you see people who don't know anything about this ask questions that makes no sense & either i end up getting lectured about the generation gaps or they all think i'm lying as i don't know the answers to the very basic questions even.

Is it my fault that they don't know what developers develop?? Or what's a software?? Or what applications run on computers??
I am a developer & I develop!!
THE END